Doing fine on the weekdays

So other than my usual crudy weekends I've been having a great week so far. In the last 2.5 days I've only purged once and have eaten about 1850 calories -650 in exercise. Why can't my weekends be this awesome??? I think if weekends didn't exist I could call myself anorexic. I can go off of 700 calories a day and still workout and lose 2 lbs per week till i'm down to 88lbs. Goddamn you weekends for holding me back.

Anyways, I have a new deadline to meet. On May 27th-30th I'm going to be at a convention that is basically going to be me walking around half naked for 3 days straight. I NEED to slim down for this. I don't want pictures of myself that make me feel awful.

CW: ~100lbs (coughtoofatcough)
GW1: 5/13: 98lbs
GW2: 5/20: 96lbs
GW3: 5/27: 94lbs

ANA help me.

I figure I should be able to achieve this if I didn't spend my weekends stuffing my face and throwing up.

Anti binge strategy:
--throw away food (with the exception of vegetables, fruit, and other expensive low calories foods) on friday nights
--get out of my damn apartment (hell)
--stock up on COFFFFFFEEEEEEEE

Oh Ana Help Me

Coffee I love you, weekends: I wish you were banished from this universe

I hate weekends. I hate saturdays, I hate sundays. I hate late friday nights. Fuck you weekend I'd rather you didn't exist. Let me go into why weekends can suck hairy man balls. I figure if it wasn't for weekends I would lose about 2 lbs per week. I figure this because I gain 2 lbs over the weekends and lose it by friday. If it weren't for the weekends, I would probably be about 10lbs lighter. I don't binge and purge, or eat much in general during weekdays. I have maybe 1000 ish calories per day and hit the gym for a total of about 5 hours. Plus I spend about an hour and a half walking around each day. Conservatively I have a net of about 600-700 calories per day which allows me to undo the 2lbs i gain over the weekend in 5 days. But... when the weekend comes around OMG somebody help me. I binge on anything possible edible think I can get. I don't care if it's icecream, cereal, bread, yogurt, fruit, veggies, rice, milk, hell even raw eggs. And I basically will be binging and purging all day long for about a day and a half. Then I spend my sunday nights trying to recover from all binging and purging.

So in net, I fall behind in everything on weekends. I can't get any of my school work done, I gain weight, I become super exhasted. I want to die pretty much. Sometimes during the weekday I will be like, 'I want to go to the ___ this weekend' but then the weekend comes around and I just wanna give up and rot away which is what I do.

Anyone have any suggestions on how to deal with this maddness?

I'm considering trying more drastic measures next weekend cuz I'm so sick of doing so well all week to be thrown back to square 1 because I don't have school for 2 days. I love school, only because it keeps me from throwing up all day long. Next weekend I think what I'll do is I will throw all my food away. Just get rid of all of it. Stock up on coffee and sleeping pills or something like that. I'm so tired of feeling like I'd rather be dead. I'm so tired of feeling so stressed out about my weight and falling behind in classes all because I spend 2 days a week vomiting.

Weigh In

SOOOO, the moment of truth. I am 100 lbs today, I lost 3 lbs since tuesday and I'm feeling pretty spectacular about that. =)
My goal by next friday is 98 lbs
I can do this!!!!!

Thinspiration~~~

I'm going to put up some thinspo this time. Tommorow is weight day and also the first of 7 weekly updates in the summer slim down competition that i signed up for. I'm so anxious. After having gained weight from last week I'm scared to step on the scale again. I'll post a stats update tmr after i weight myself.

Hopefully this makes up for the eyesores i posted last time.

stay strong starve on!!

1 week cleanse

Soo, since i've been doing sooo terribly with bulima, i've decided that for 1 week i'm just going to ignore the thought of 'meals'. the though of 'today i will eat 3 small vegan meals and be done' no, that always screws me up. NO, for 1 week a meal is 100 calories or less and less is more. If it's a time i usually eat, i'll say no. Food is evil. I don't need food. Food will ruin me. It will make me fail my classes, it will turn me into a lard ass, it will turn me into a no-chinned-fat-slut like my roommate. No, food is failure. failure as a human being.

The only things i will eat:
mushrooms
green onions
fruits
non starch veggies
egg whites
sugar free frozen yogurt--only if i get dizzy

-no added sugar
-no added fat
-no starch or carbs

+ unlimited coffee, tea, diet drinks, sugar free water enhancers

Exercise: minimum of 1 hour per day (any of the following)

+walking
+dancing
+cardio machines
+toning exercises

My Motivation: ugly bitch ho reh-tards

So my motivation for becoming bones: to separate myself as much as I physically can from these incompetent ugly ass fuck tards: (reverse thinspo)

I know i probably sound really shallow right now. Well the truth is, I honestly don't judge someone by their weight, it's only when i have a problem with their personality, or presence that i go apeshit on hating them.  Once i find someone irritating, everything thing about them becomes a target of my irritation. the fact that they are in my opinion, ugly as fuck, only bothers me because i don't like who they are. (these are all girls by the way, and no i am not fucking kidding). I mean most of my friends are bigger than i am and it doesn't bother me at all, i don't think being fat or thin says anything about who you are as a person. I don't associate fat with lazy, stupid, ugly, unhealthy. No, fat and ugly only bother me when i already don't like who they are as a person. I mean after all, do you feel like being around someone that who in your opinion is (a/an)bitch,disgusting,immoral,socialretard,dumbass,oldman,incompetent,irritating,ho,ect]? I would think not.

Summer Slim Down Competition

So I am entering myself into this competion hosted by Sunshinechild. Hopefully this will help me kick my bulimia and lose some weight before it will become unacceptable to wear jackets everyday. It's a 51 day slim down competition and the people who lose the most %  of their body weight gets prizes. I don't really mind prizes, afterall, the weightloss is the real prize. My goal weights are:
GW1: 98
GW2:94
GW3:92
GW4:90
UGW88--31-22-32

Right now i'm 102, uggghhh 14lbs to go, 14 lbs to go.
I'm sooo tired of being such a fatass. I wish I could get a hold of that one chemical that stops addictions. I know there is such a thing. If I could get a bit of that, then maybe i'll stop my bulimia altogether and lose all this fat. Stupid bulima has made me gain almost 10 lbs by now. DX