Life is better outside of the blinders of an ed... i want that life

Sooo... I didn't loose much weight during the convention, maybe a pound at most but the convention did remind me that life without bulimia is well... so much better. During the con i was aways with people, even when i was at the room (which i shared with 4-6 other people at  any given time) so i couldn't indulge in my bulimic ways and honestly, it felt awesome. I'm 100% sure that my bulimia is so bad this last year because i have my own room... Privacy is such a bitch sometimes, i'd rather get walked in on having sex than get walked in on while binging or purging. So for 4 days i didnt binge or purge or chew and spit and because of it i had so much more time, and energy to do shit. I didn't feel embarrassed about my body because i wasn't abusing it. I need to practice this more i think. Save all the money i spend on abuse food (50-70$) per week and spend it on better things like cosplaying and going to raves and having FUN. Thats the big thing i think, just to not even focus on food, do thing about it at all, just concentrate on what's really important... people and having fun, and being sucessful in life. I'm sure it's pretty universal with eating disorders that there is a big emphasis with ideas of failure, and being 'not good enough' which is why we feel terrible all the time. Not only do we feel ashamed, that shame is what's keeping us from becoming someone that we are satisfied with. So that's what i want to do now, just not focus on food. Don't look for the next lowest calorie thing, don't try the meals promoted in fitness magazines, don't try the lastest cereal, don't try to cook anything. Just don't pay attention to food. And instead pay attention to whats going on around me, who's throwing a party, what events are going on in the area, who's free to do shit with, what cosplay outfits should i make next... better things. During the con, i got to experience a bit of life without bulimia and now i see all that i'm missing out on. I see now that the key to being thin, is to find other things to occupy the space of food. Other things to pay attention to, other things to use the time.