Day 1 of my Retro Diet

OMG i feel soooo good right now. I really want to stick with this diet, i feel like i did last year.
what i've eaten so far:
breakfast:
1 apple 150
1 orange 70
coffee 40
2 egg whites 40
7:30 am 300 calories

Lunch 380 calories at the buffet:
big undressed salad with olives, cumbers, tomatoes, and carrots 50
1 bowl of raw broccoli with salt 50
some cooked veggies 50
sobe 0 cal juice 0
cantaloupe 40
pineapple 110
cereal 60 (1/3 cup)
frozen yogurt (2 tablespoons) 20

total so far at 1pm 680 calories
sounds like alot but it's like a total of only 2-3 grams of fat, ~10 grams of processed sugar, and you feel full without feeling like you failed. Plus it's super healthy, you won't need to take your multivitamin garbage if you eat like this.

This was how i ate last year, generally around 700 calories by the time it was afternoon. Minimal processed sugars or carbs, raw fruit and veggies unlimited (because you know it really isn't the carrots and cellery sticks that are making you fat, even if you ate a fuckton of them). The best part is that i don't feel guilty about eating these foods therefore i don't get into the mind set that i already messed up and give in for the day. I mean even if i ate 1 bowl of cereal~160-220 calories or a peanut butter sandwich ~200-350 i would still feel like i messed up and just start bingeing an purging. Even though the cereal or the sandwich is about the same or even fewer calories than a meal of my retro diet, these foods are less healthy and also make me feel as if i was a failure leading me to mess up. I guess that's part of the whole labeling food as 'good' or 'bad'. Even if the calorie count was the same, or reversed, the state of mind it puts me affects the rest of my day and the following days. Feeling guilty or ashamed, feeling weak and pathetic sets me up to sabotage myself in an attempt to drown out these feelings.

The other good thing is that these foods are so bulky that after a huge (yet only 50 calorie salad), a bowl of raw broccoli, 2 cups of fruit, and 2 cups of liquids, 'bad foods' are just not as appealing (cuz i'm stuffed). And even if i do want those foods even after all that, as i did today, those foods are less scary because i'm so full that i couldn't eat more than a few bites worth. They say the first 3 bites of anything is the best tasting, and that's about all i could manage to eat.

Today I ate lunch at the buffet that I ate at almost everyday last year. I've come to like buffets for several reasons:
1. unlimited raw fruit and veggies(salad) bar that is separate from everything else
2. it's public so i can't binge and purge
3. Reverse thinspo EVERYWHERE!! [i want cake, wait look at all the fatties holding cake, nevermind]
4. People tend to be less suspicious of you being anorexic if you say that you go to the buffet all the time but are still skinny.
5. If you really want dessert you can go eat all your veggies first and take only a tiny amount of dessert cuz everything is self serve.
6. And you can call a spoon of yogurt and granola your 'dessert' rather than the whole tub of icecream, or whole box of cookies in your house.
7. hot food at a buffet tastes like shit anyways so after a bite you're done with it

Buffet tips:
-don't even look at the hot food, just head straight to the salad bar which is usually always separate from everything else.
-if you want dessert eat veggies and fruit till you're so full you you can hardly stand (sounds like a lot but it's usually only 200-300 calories) then go and get dessert. you'll be to full to eat more than a few bites worth
-look at all the fat people and see what they eat=crap