Whyyyyyy...... Must I try so hard and do so well just to walk into a grocery store and buy a bunch of foods that i know i'm never going to be ok with thinking that i will be just because i feel strong for the fleeting hour that i'm in the damn store?? Just to go back to my apartment and start stuffing my face before i do anything else??? I seriously wish someone would just taze me everytime i touch something i'm not ok with eating. Why must life be soo fucking hard.
These are the foods i'm not ok with (meaning that i'm either going binge and purge or chew and spit them as soon as i get the chance)
Cold cereal (even the kinds that taste like cardboard)
hot cereal
granola
yogurt of any sort (even plain or greek)
sugar
milk
bread
biscuts
bagles
tortillas
cakes
cookies
crackers
chocolate or candy
icecream
pudding
cake mix
frosting
hummus
chips
pita bread
peanut butter
jam
bananas (if i have more than one or two)
rice
canned meat
canned veggies
cookie dough
muffins
doughnuts
pies
granola bars
cheese
nuts and seeds
dried fruit
olives
potato produts
tofu
anything with coconut in it
coffee creamers
graham crackers
whip cream
pizza, burgers, and other savory fatty american foods i don't crave and i don't eat so thats good
So what can i eat???
fruits(though sometimes i will binge on those too)
leafy veggies
beets
greenonions
cumbers
squash(raw)
mushrooms
carrots
broccoli
fat free salad dressing
pickles
egg whites
almond milk
sugar free jello (but i'm not a big fan of jello)
fat free hot dogs
and noodles
frozen yogurt, but only if i get it at a froyo place because i don't like eating in public so i'll buy like 2oz worth )about 3 bites worth
So what can i do???
how can i avoid the temptation to buy junk to binge on??
I should keep like emergency supply of cucumbers laying around, and stuff my face with them when i want to binge. First and for most i need to stop going to Albertsons. God i hate super markets. The have more junkfood than the number of orphans in india. The main thing i get at albertsons that is not something i binge and purge is almond milk, fat free hotdogs, and 0 calorie sweeteners.
So maybe what i should do is
1. settle for paying more for almond milk that i don't like as much, because everytime i walk into albertsons i swear i end up spending like $15-40 on food that i'm not actually going to eat in a non abusive way.
2. Only go to Albertsons when I run out of my wonderful fat free hotdogs or 0cal sweeteners (and stock up!!)
3. If I do go, avoid all areas of the super makert except for the produce area, and get the fuck out of there as fast as i possibly can.
My Goal is to only go to Albertsons only once a month, rather than 1-2 times a week.
The other grocery store I go to is Trader joes. I'm usually ok there if i am actually low on food that i eat. But, since it's also the cheapest and most convienent market around, it's easy for me to go there and buy a bunch of shit to binge on. Sooo,what to do... I figure i get binge food out of there once a week. Usually some combo of cereals, granolas, bars, yogurt and cookies of some sort. That or some kind of bread and peanut butter, or hummus. And sometimes i buy like 10 bananas to chew and spit.
Most of my episodes i by a base type food and and a condiment type food (ex, cereal and yogurt, pb and bread, cookies and milk). The bases being yogurts, breads, and milks usually. What i should try is limiting my base to bananas, they are the cheapest after all, 19 cents each. yogurt and cereal are my two biggest enemies because they are the easiest to swallow without relizing it (swallowing a whole mouthful of balled up bread is much more easily recognized as it'll nearly suffocate you in the process). Granola bars, and cookies are also things i buy alot but usually i don't binge and purge these (the drier they are the less i swallow). What i could do is limit it to banana's, cookies, and granola bars. I will still abuse those foods but as long as i don't have them in conjunction with milk or yogurt i won't eat much of it, mostly just spit it out.
So that's what i'm going to try this week, ABSOLUTLY NO DAIRY--cuz it screws me over faster than anything else. The only trigger foods that i'll buy are bananas, cookies, and granolas bars, limiting to 1 package or 6 bananas.
ANA HELP ME.
CW:100ish
GW1:97 by friday
GW2:94 by the 27th
UGW:88 by Jun 10th
Anyone have any advice for me?? I mean i know i can get down to this weight, if i could somehow put an end to my emotional eating(binging purging mindless grazing [usually out of anxiety]).
And does anyone wanna diet with me? i need an ana/mia buddy.
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