pretty friends...

I've always wanted them. pretty friends. those friends who are so effortlessly thin and beautiful it's hard to believe such people exist. And now i'm starting to get them. the thing is with pretty friends, is they know everyone and everyone knows them. Recently i've been making all these beautiful and increadibly thin friends. like they are anorexic skinny without seeming to give a shit about what they eat or drink and they are beautiful with great fashion sense. I mean these people even have a fanbase of both girls and guys after them and they don't even do the entertainment industry or youtube video thing. No these people have thousands of friends, buddies, ect on every profile they have.... and these are their fans(girls/boys) and stalkers, ect. I've never had pretty friends until now. no, i was aways the smallest of my friends and considered to be one of the prettier ones. but now i'm the short stubby not as pretty friend. I need to get thinner... thinner.... don't eat ever again. i should burn my tounge till it's black or something.... the only good thing about being home is i can't binge on things like cookies, cakes, pastries, icecream, junk like that.... though at the same time there is so much more food in the house and most of those foods are not foods i normally eat. They have oil and meat and sause and r cooked.... so i eat alot, but alot of non b/p type foods. idk i guess it evens out. but i'mm still toooo fat. i feel heavy and i look heavy. I'm starting my fast at 1am on monday, till 1 pm tuesday, may try to extend it if i can... tea coffee lettuce tomatos