My Motivation: ugly bitch ho reh-tards

So my motivation for becoming bones: to separate myself as much as I physically can from these incompetent ugly ass fuck tards: (reverse thinspo)

I know i probably sound really shallow right now. Well the truth is, I honestly don't judge someone by their weight, it's only when i have a problem with their personality, or presence that i go apeshit on hating them.  Once i find someone irritating, everything thing about them becomes a target of my irritation. the fact that they are in my opinion, ugly as fuck, only bothers me because i don't like who they are. (these are all girls by the way, and no i am not fucking kidding). I mean most of my friends are bigger than i am and it doesn't bother me at all, i don't think being fat or thin says anything about who you are as a person. I don't associate fat with lazy, stupid, ugly, unhealthy. No, fat and ugly only bother me when i already don't like who they are as a person. I mean after all, do you feel like being around someone that who in your opinion is (a/an)bitch,disgusting,immoral,socialretard,dumbass,oldman,incompetent,irritating,ho,ect]? I would think not.

Summer Slim Down Competition

So I am entering myself into this competion hosted by Sunshinechild. Hopefully this will help me kick my bulimia and lose some weight before it will become unacceptable to wear jackets everyday. It's a 51 day slim down competition and the people who lose the most %  of their body weight gets prizes. I don't really mind prizes, afterall, the weightloss is the real prize. My goal weights are:
GW1: 98
GW2:94
GW3:92
GW4:90
UGW88--31-22-32

Right now i'm 102, uggghhh 14lbs to go, 14 lbs to go.
I'm sooo tired of being such a fatass. I wish I could get a hold of that one chemical that stops addictions. I know there is such a thing. If I could get a bit of that, then maybe i'll stop my bulimia altogether and lose all this fat. Stupid bulima has made me gain almost 10 lbs by now. DX

Not doing to well =(

I haven't been doing to well recently. Ever since I learned that I failed one of my major courses I've felt just hopeless. I have to take summer school to make it up and I can't move on until I make it up so as of right now I will be 2 quarters behind in my major at the end of spring. By the end of summer, assuming I pass both classes, I will be all caught up. However, failing this class my jepordize my chances of transfering out of this fuck hole of a place called Orange asswipe County. The thought of being stuck here not only for the summer but for the next 2 years makes me want to die. I feel like I don't know what the hell I'm doing here in college. This is supposed to be some big opportunity in my life but I can't appreciate the value of it because I'm walking around thinking that I'm wasting away here because that's whats happening to me. Being here has brought bulimia upon me, it has killed my inspirations, driven my identity into hibernation, isolated me from anyone who even remotely understands or cares about me or who I understand and even remotely cares about. I don't do anything that I even remotely consider fun. I am essentially rotting here. I feel like I've been sent here to suffer and die. I have no dreams of any kind of career because school is so dreadfully uninspiring that I think if this is my future, I think I'd rather die now and not bother having to deal with this shit.

5.5 days without binging and purging or chewing and spitting

So yesterday I did binge and purge once. It was a small one that didn't actually contain junk food. It was about a 700-800 calorie binge consisting of rice, seaweed salad, green salad, and 2 slices of heavily buttered bread. However the trick with this 10 week break the binge diet is to come back with full force everytime you mess up. So I clocked in at 5.5 days without food abuse. Now I know for sure that I can go 5.5 days without abusing food. So knowing that I can keep pushing that out. If I can do the 5.5 days, how much harder can it be to push it out to 6 days or 7 days? Get the idea? It's like building up tolerance to go without the food abuse.

Bulimia--kicking the habit: today I have a choice.

OK, this is my first ana mia blog. I am currently bulimic, I used to be both anorexic and bulimic. I'm currently working on a  10 week no binge diet. Basically, my standard diet that I've been on since I became anorexic minus the binging/purging and chewing/spitting. Essentially my goal is to stop abusing food like a drug.

Motivations for this diet:

- my bulimia is getting out of hand and is wrecking my body in terms of weight, my teeth, energy levels, sleep habits ect.

- bulimia costs to fucking much

- because of the b/p and c/s cycles and all of their consequences i've gained up to 10 lbs since before my bulimia. I hope to regain my 93lb body, or perhaps lower my weight even more. I was able to maintain 93 lb even with minor/bulimic tendencies. So I'm hoping that if I can give up my bulimic behaviors that I can acheive ultimately 90lbs. I'm about 100 lbs right now, sometimes I'm heavier if I've eaten to much food, or to much salt, or if' I've been having a rough time. But 10 lbs in 10 weeks is my goal so by may 26 I hope to be 90 lbs.

So far I've gone 5 whole days without binging, purging, c/s, without any food abuse basically and I'm really proud of that, I don't think I've gone more than 3 days without food abuse since, idk 2009? except for once last June, but that was because I was with friends 24 hours a day.

If anyone wants to join me on my 10 week endevor comment or message me and we can work together on it.
Here's some summer thinspo for motivation.